It’s Official: I’m Old.

I’m taking a break from writing about massage today. It’s my blog. I get to do that 😀

In a few more days, I’ll be 54. I confess, I haven’t really thought of myself as “old,” although I don’t dress the way I did when I was 20, I don’t party the way I did when I was 20, and I hopefully have a lot more common sense and acquired knowledge than I did when I was 20. I’m overweight, but I am in relatively good health. I enjoy my work, and I still work as hard as I ever did, usually putting in 12 hour days. I’m also enjoying my second childhood playing in a band, after taking quite a few years off from performing regularly in public. It’s fun to be out there doing something you love and getting paid for it.

I was actually at a jam session last night while the VMA awards show was on, so I didn’t see it (another sign I’m behind the times, I guess, that I don’t have all those techno goodies that let you watch shows at any time). This morning while I was watching the news, they showed a clip of Miley Cyrus “twerking,” which apparently is a dance synonymous with simulating sex, on the show. She also kept sticking out her tongue, a la Gene Simmons, who should in no way feel flattered that she is imitating him.

I guess it’s official: I’m old. I was appalled by her behavior. The same girl who was sweet Hannah Montana, fingering herself with a foam rubber glove, bumping and grinding on singer Robin Thicke, while her mother looked on proudly from the audience…I can’t imagine my mother being proud of that kind of performance. I posted a similar comment on my FB page, and while there were many people who were just as disgusted as I was, I got a few comments along the lines of “my grandmother was mortified by Elvis” and “she is just this generation’s Madonna.”

And of course, that’s all true. The difference is, I was young when Elvis was around–I think I was about 20 or so when he passed. I was still relatively young when Madonna burst on the scene, and I confess, I never was a big fan of Madonna. I know she’s still out there doing her music and acting or directing or whatever else she does, and I can applaud her staying power, if nothing else.I suppose when I was younger, I didn’t find Elvis’ hip action or Madonna’s pointy bras shocking. If I was still 20, I might not have found Cyrus’ performance to be in such poor taste, but I like to think I would.

I’m not entertained by music, if you can call it that, that only contains the same lines over and over, like “baby, baby, baby.” Any time I’m at home on Saturday night, I watch the reruns of Lawrence Welk. They play real music on there, timeless songs that have actual lyrics. After watching Cyrus’ display this morning, I went to my youtube channel and watched a few videos of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers…I thought, “Now that is dancing.”

I still love rock and roll. I play a lot of rock and roll…classic, mostly, but with some of today’s popular music mixed in. I don’t have the body to pull off those show-your-butt shorts and flesh-colored bra that Miley Cyrus was wearing, and I wouldn’t be seen in them, even if I did. I could never imagine myself on stage “twerking,” or grabbing my crotch, or grabbing anyone else’s crotch who happened to be onstage with me, or getting on my knees in front of someone and simulating oral sex. I assume the people who come to see me play music aren’t expecting that kind of thing, so they won’t be disappointed. I have some old videos hanging around of some of my performances when I was her age, and I wasn’t dressing that way or doing that kind of thing then, either.

I don’t think of myself as a prude. I think you can be really sexy without appearing to be tasteless and raunchy.Tina Turner is 74 and still sexy. Turner used to say, regarding her famous on-stage shimmy, that she could look sexy without looking vulgar because she shook it from side to side, and didn’t thrust her pelvis toward the audience. Adele exudes sex appeal, and she’s a fat girl like me. When I think of the women singers I admire, none of them feel compelled to do anything remotely similar to the show that Cyrus put on last night.

Sex sells, and so does controversy. She’s probably sold a few more records today on account of it. Bless her heart.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *